Sixteen Random Thoughts From the Past Six Days

1.  There are many kind people in this world.

2.  Katie has astonishingly bad morning breath.

3.  Sharing a hotel bed with a three-year-old child is equal parts bad idea and effective means of torture.

4.  You can, in fact, get sick of eating out.

5.  Katie has consumed a steady supply of high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oil over the past six days.

6.  I don’t handle death well.

7.  You probably can’t run out of tears. I’ve tested this out this week.

8.  Three cups of coffee each morning is my new minimum.

9.  Babies don’t always smell good.

10.  Craig and I need a will.

11.  Never travel without nail clippers when you have children.

12.  Always overpack.

13.  I am eternally grateful that my grandmother insisted that she teach me how to wash my panties in the sink.

14.  I’m not young anymore.

15.  Pack way more diapers than you think you could possibly use.

16.  Hotels are the perfect place for Play Doh.

I’m a Big Fat Ice Cream Liar

I lied to Katie yesterday.

It was a repeat of a lie that I’ve told countless times over the past two months.

On the day of the initial lie, we were outside playing and she heard the Ding Ding (the ice cream truck) and said, in her sweetest, most curious voice, “What’s that noise?”

I panicked.  I totally panicked.

Here’s why:

When I was little, I had an unhealthy addiction to the Ding Ding.  My mother, who often showed just how much she loved me through baking and allowing me all sorts of goodies, encouraged this. {Thank you, Mom!}

The Ding Ding plays a huge role in my memories of summer.  He came every day and my mother always had her spare change ready for me.  {I think I developed super hearing from always listening for the earliest hint of the music from that truck.}

If we were going to run errands, I needed reassurance that the timing would in no way conflict with my daily treat.  Nothing could keep me from that truck.

I would drop whatever I was doing and run for the truck with all of the other neighborhood kids.  We all waited impatiently for our Push-Up Pops, Creamsicles, Chocolate Eclair Pops, and Fudgsicles.

Every single day.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am that mom.  I don’t allow Katie to have sugary treats very often. I’ve nearly perfected my trips grocery store, almost always avoiding the problem areas.  And, if she catches sight of something I won’t allow her to have? I say, “Oh, those aren’t for kids, they’re for grownups.”

{Yes, I do realize that I am a horrible liar.}

The Ding Ding is a combination of all of my worst nightmare on wheels.

What do I see when I catch a glimpse of that truck?  A pedophile (our local driver looks CREEPY) who drives around spewing fumes (get a new muffler, buddy!), peddling his high fructose corn syrup-laden fat bombs to innocent children.

So, when Katie heard the Ding Ding and asked what it was, I lied.

I said, “Oh, that?  That’s the music truck.”

She looked befuddled, so I enhanced the lie by telling her, “the music truck drives through the neighborhood every day so that all of the kids can hear the music while outside playing.”

Totally lame, I know.

So, now when she hears the truck, she looks at me and almost challenges me to lie again.  I am convinced that she KNOWS I’m lying.

Although a huge part of me wants so badly to make her happy, as I know the treats would, I just can’t do it.  If I let her have a treat even once, I just know that I am setting myself up for daily struggles.

How am I going to keep up this lie?  We live in California–our Ding Ding knows no winter.

Any suggestions?

Six Reasons Why I’m a Complete Hypocrite…

Okay, we’ve already established that I’m THAT mom. You know the one.  And, honestly, I am so okay with that.

While our kids are still small, it’s my responsibility to teach them healthy life habits. I do realize that in a few years they’ll be at a friend’s house and on their own to make healthy choices (or not), but for now, they’re mine. My job is to put good practices in place and give them the tools to make good choices.

Here’s the problem–I have double standards and I need to change my ways. These are the six of our guidelines we have for the kids and my main areas of my hypocrisy:

1. Limit refined sugar.

This one is pretty obvious (wired kids being only part of the problem).  Here are a few other reasons.

Two or three nights a week we allow Katie to have a treat after dinner, which is typically three M&M’s.

Craig and I ate two bags of jelly beans just over the week of Easter.

2. Don’t drink fruit juice.

We offer Katie an apple instead of apple juice, an orange instead of orange juice. Fruit offers fiber and far fewer sugary calories. Plus, we encourage her to drink plenty of water and she can only drink so much fluid in a day. Here’s a great article on the subject.

Yeah, I drink juice. How else would I ever have fruity drinks on the patio? Can’t make a Malibu Bay Breeze without pineapple and cranberry juice.

3. Watch Minimal Television

Katie is allowed one hour of television each day.

Yeah, well, I love the TV and certainly watch more than an hour a day. Heaven help you if you get in the way of Parenthood, Modern Family, House, or The Tudors. Seriously, don’t even try it.

4. Eat the rainbow.

With each meal, we offer her several colorful foods, with the ultimate goal of providing as close to a complete rainbow as possible by day’s end. We talk about the reasons why we eat each color and how important eating right is to growing “big and strong.”

And me? Yeah, well, about that, see M&Ms above…red, orange, yellow, green, blue…

5. Avoid high fructose corn syrup.

This is a huge rule in our house and, for the most part, has been relatively easy to adhere to.

But, I love this little thing called a Fluffernutter. For those of you poor things who haven’t heard of this delight, imagine a sandwich filled with peanut butter and Marshmallow Fluff. Yeah, the ingredients in Fluff are: corn syrup, sugar syrup, dried egg whites and vanillin.  There is just no excuse for eating this.

6. Eat no hydrogenated oils.

We all know that we shouldn’t eat these, and for the most part, I do okay.

The problem? One word: Oreos.

So, why am I telling you all of my secrets? Because I’m going to try to change my ways and adhere to the principles that we set for the kids. Katie is getting old enough that I’ve had to dodge some awkward questions and eat my jelly beans in stealth mode. She’s too smart for me to get away with this for much longer.

And how about you? Are there any rules that you inflict upon lovingly set for your kids that you don’t always follow yourself?  How do you explain your double standards?